Actually, Ms. Farmer, Profit is #1. Suggest dropping the hoe for a scythe. And #2, if the ‘treasure chest’ has big, red lips set in a smile complete with big ivory inlays, you may wanna think twice before touching. Fail-check for traps. (Cue Siege theme music)
See “Rule 34”. By now there’s creepy naked fan-art of THE CUBE. (Bleah!)
Also, I think that by the standards of female fantasy-adventure heroines she is A) quite wholesome-looking and B) fairly practically dressed. Admittedly, thick gloves and knee protectors are all she’s got, but by the standards of female fantasy-adventurer heroines that amounts to a bomb-squad suit.
The fake nails do decent damage on the first round, but they’re brittle and break off in the wound, like a howler’s quills. Once depleted of its nails, damage devolves to 1d3 bludgeoning.
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Actually, Ms. Farmer, Profit is #1. Suggest dropping the hoe for a scythe. And #2, if the ‘treasure chest’ has big, red lips set in a smile complete with big ivory inlays, you may wanna think twice before touching. Fail-check for traps. (Cue Siege theme music)
Well, she wasn’t looking. Which is a mistake in and of itself, but still.
You kidding? I think she has weapon proficiency: gardening tools. Shovel Knight ain’t got nothing on her.
I’ll have you know that Ms Shovel Knight carries a vorpal shovel.
I need to do some research on the damage stats for a hoe. The landscaping tool, not the other….
I gotta admit, the last time my character was in a situation that involved mimics and farm implements it didn’t end well.
Well, I know who’s going to get creepy naked fanart about her drawn up and posted all the internet after this one makes the rounds…
See “Rule 34”. By now there’s creepy naked fan-art of THE CUBE. (Bleah!)
Also, I think that by the standards of female fantasy-adventure heroines she is A) quite wholesome-looking and B) fairly practically dressed. Admittedly, thick gloves and knee protectors are all she’s got, but by the standards of female fantasy-adventurer heroines that amounts to a bomb-squad suit.
[Morgan Freeman Narrator Voice] “What Viva Wereboar didn’t realize is that every picture of Cube is creepy naked fan-art…”
I mean some of them are full insertion pics!
GRR!!!
samsonguy: Why not get the damage of a ho? Never know when you’ll have no other weapon than prostitution.
“For the last time, the ability score is called CONstitution! CON-stitution!”
Win. You do it.
@Starbuck: I’d estimate the fake nails alone go 1d4 each per round.
The fake nails do decent damage on the first round, but they’re brittle and break off in the wound, like a howler’s quills. Once depleted of its nails, damage devolves to 1d3 bludgeoning.
with a rage bonus to attack because “You made me break a NAIL!”
Actually, it goes
1. Find monsters
2. Kill monsters
3. Kill those losers who helped you with 1 and 2
4. Profit
Somebody plays Munchkin…
@ Viva Wereboar: did you get that from xkcd? and was that a Southpark reference during the comic?
Naw, just my native wit. Such as it is.
Maxim 23: “If you put your hands anywhere your eyes are not looking or cannot see, you are at risk of losing your hands.”
There is, indeed, what appears to be a wok. Last week’s sound effect was accurate.