Level 7: #5
Chapter: Comic, Level 7 — Circus Minimus
Rusty & Co.
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Oh no, Mr. Gnome. First you gotta give Madeline a — hmm — pruning hook, perhaps. Or a plowshare.
She, being herself, will skip the step about beating them into a spear or sword.
“give”?? What is this “give”? I’m not familiar with this word. Is it anything like “sell”, because I know that word.
It’s what you do when they give you the money. Otherwise, they don’t give you money.
Oh, well, if you put it that way, it sounds a lot like selling, so I suppose that’s OK. I thought maybe you were trying to trick me into parting with one of my Invaluable, Beautiful, Priceless Ancient Artifacts of Unimaginable Power (now available for a limited time, buy one get one free!) without receiving a suitable compensation in return for the terrible sacrifice I would be making in parting with such a precious item.
Got a Vorpal Hedge Clipper? Vorpal Post Hole Digger? Vorpal Weed Eater? (Eat weed?) That can go wrong in so many ways. . .
There’s always the Holly Wood. The problem is that you keep encountering the same things over and over again.
On a different subject, I suspect Dinkum chose to appear because he recognised Madeline as one of his best clients… What is he going to sell her this time ?
They really shouldn’t have much to fear from the Holly Wood, after all, nothing they find there is real anyway.
The problem is, the roads there are not real, too.
Yes, nothing there is real, everything costs way too much, it’s full of cliches, and besides, you can only get in if you know somebody, everyone else just ends up waiting tables.
Looks like it’s time for an old fashioned Cowlick Contest (small-size division).
Hopefully this goes a bit better than the investigation on the Tentacallis. Of course, Madeline is less likely to haggle the price down than Prestige.
He’s offering before even being asked – and hasn’t even mentioned a price. He can’t feel cheated yet. (And I doubt he wants to anger Stabs – he basically works out of her bar, after all.)
Not saying he’s not up to [i]something[/i], of course…
Well, duh. Leading with the price only drives off customers. You want to get them invested, then pop the price on them.
Maddie would haggle the price *up* if she felt she was being charged less than what the item was really worth. After all, it would just be *wrong* to pay less than what was worth, wouldn’t it – that would be like cheating the poor honest shopkeeper!
There’s always the East Wood, but there is the 95% chance of sudden impacts and the 60% chance of encountering the Enforcer.
They could try the Tiger Woods – we used to think that was pretty safe, but it turned out there was a 99% chance of encountering a random nymph or two (or three or five or ten)
A groupie of nymphs?
They would lose track of how much ammo they had used. They weren’t feeling lucky.
Roll to see if you feel Lucky today. Well, do ya, punk?
If this is a 5th edition game then I’ll definitely feel Lucky as soon as I get a feat slot.
But there’s only three paths through the East Wood; I’m sure narrative causality will prevent them from taking the Good way, and I’m not sure Mike wants to draw the Ugly way, so…
What happened to the brown clothes that Madeline wears under her armor?
And does she always wear that pink shirt? Three layers? When it’s not snowing?
Well, she was dressed for a quest where it WAS snowing…
But under the circumstances, Madeline’s new friends might have found her some clean clothes that haven’t just been through a dungeon crawl, a series of brutally bloody fights, and a long drag through the snow.
On a tangential note, it will be amusing to see if Rusty is also covered with bandaids now. He can’t eat them, so their purpose will be a real puzzle to him.
I don’t know, I think that pink with heart on it really seems like something Maddie would own herself, rather than one of the others.
It could be a gift they were glad to palm off on someone who would like it.
I like it – it looks adorable on her! +2 Pinkheart Shirt of Adorableness
The brown clothes would be the padded tunics and stuff normally worn under steel armor… presumably removed with the rest of the armor because it needs repairs as badly as it’s owner did…
and i’m sure she would wear something under that leather, chafing
Is that an acetylene torch in Roxy’s toolkit?
Interdimensional exchange of technology and culture marches on…
Probably propane or MAPP gas – there’s only one cylinder, and acetylene isn’t usually used without oxygen.
…what does Roxy need a torch for?
She’s repairing metal armor, and doesn’t appear to have a forge handy – the torch is probably for small repairs.
Perhaps she’s merely *carrying* a torch for somebody.
They should steer clear of the Gump Forrest. You never know what you’re gonna get.
They could cross Harrison Ford but then they’d need to deal with Nazis, Communists, Random Indian Cultists, Stormtroopers, Shia Labeouf and George Lucas, and worst of all snakes. I mean they could handle most of that were it not for the snakes. Snakes, why’d it have to be snakes?
Visit scenic Veronica Lake! Much classier than Ricki Lake!
I prefer Lake Bell. Lovely scenery there.
They could fly over Sally Field. Oh, right , none can fly there….
They could go by Picabo Street, but it would be all downhill from there.
(For those who don’t get the joke, Ms. Street is a former Olympic skier.)
But isn’t the Down Under running a chance of giant spiders, jellies, ants, drop bears …
… and I’m seeing rainbow light. Great flying monkeys. You don’t mean *that* OZ?
…snakes, crocodiles, wombats, some of the sheep…
Yeah, stay away from that Down Under…
Wot, no one’s even gone bringin’ up DeForest Kelley? Kinda out of genre, sure, but still.
Perhaps it’s just because you often can’t see DeForest from DeTrees.
But can they re-supply at DeForest Station?
At least they don’t have to head through the James Woods.
Why, what would would they find there?
Oh, a piece of candy, oh, piece of candy.
Actually, she can rule out Wile E. Coyote, since Maddie’s opponent actually won.
Would you buy a… well, anything from this Gnome?
Yes. A bridge in New York, a tower in Paris, and a castle in Spain.
Nobody else has commented on the fact that the map Stabs is using was made by Random McNally? Subtle, but amusing…
Along with Cloaker Cola and the other marvelous product placements.
What about the James Woods? I hear they are creepy at times, but usually pleasant otherwise.
Is Hucksterble Gnome actually picking up the wall to open a path? Perhaps his merchandise isn’t as shoddy as it looks.
Also, can’t wait to see what implement he sells Madeline next. =) So far we have a Hoe-ly Avenger and a Vorpal Halberd, both of which she used very effectively. Maybe a Scimitar of Smiting (sickle), enchanted Trident (pitchfork), Glaive Guisarme (pruning hook) or something else entirely?
Of the other 40% encounters in the Ed Wood, 30% are crossdressers and 10% are crossdressing zombies.
Is that a double entendre in the last panel? (Serious question.)
It’s definitely a double entendre, since it would have the double meaning of them going under the wall he is lifting, and as an Aussie reference – what we really want to know is whether it is a triple entendre, where the third meaning is (censored). The answer is: probably yes, but you can never really be absolutely certain it was intentional unless the author admits it.
See how efficient Dinkum is? He offers them a solution and names his price , all in the same sentence!
Madeline out of armor? This… this does not sit well with me, I feel like I’ve walked in on her undressed.
Don’t bring that up! As discussed waaaay back in the comments under Madeline’s first appearance in the strip, there’s undoubtedly creepy fan-art of her* out there somewhere, but there’s no reason to encourage the creation of more.
* Yes, and of the rest of the cast. Even Calamitus… somehow.
Sure, there’s a page with creepy sexualized fanart of Calamitus, but so far the only person to have visited the page is Calamitus, and I’m pretty sure Calamitus drew the fanart.
They better avoid the Fire Swamp, the Rodents of Unusual Size and Snow Sand can be tricky. And heaven forbid they venture into the Bog of Eternal Stench, not even Rusty will be able to eat metal that falls in there.
Of course, they could try to go through the Misty Mountains, but if they decide to go through Mirkwood they’d better stay on the Path.
Rodents of unusual size? I don’t think they exist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capybara
Adult capybaras grow to 107 to 134 cm (3.51 to 4.40 ft) in length, stand 50 to 64 cm (20 to 25 in) tall at the withers, and typically weigh 35 to 66 kg (77 to 150 lb),
We’re going to need giant mouse traps. That’s around 2 feet tall at the shoulder and weighing in at the size of a small child…..
But that’s their usual size.
But that usual size is highly unusual compared to other rodents.
Have to admit, I think Maddy looks great in that pink shirt. +3 for style.