Level 6: #55
Chapter: Comic, Level 6 — Fangs for Nothing
Hey guys! Thanks for supporting me in the ComicMix contest! I was really touched by all the support, and by way of thanks, I’ve added a new feature to the site:
(Like most of the things he offers, this item is still in beta. I am not responsible for how your PCs destroy your campaign with them, nor what breaks in Reality or Logic are caused by what the generator comes up with.)
In unrelated news, here’s my new favorite footnote: a closeup of Anti-M just being herself.
Yay Tuesday uploads. Oh and you have my vote.
What is the opposite of feedback…?
Output?
No… Output is a component of feedback.
This would have to be a mammoth “ingesting” of all energy on a crazy scale, and the less energy around the more it gets absorbed…
Uh… Right…?
That’s awful luck, getting pitched against XCKD in round two. I don’t know how to vote, I love this comic, but I maintain the explainxkcd wiki at the same time and I love that comic to death arggggg
Vote for this comic: XKCD is doing quite well, and will continue to do so, but this comic needs a little more exposure.
I really hope Anti-M stays a recurring after this runs its course.
Also, love the ink-splatter blood.
If I had a miniature evil version of myself, I’d probably keep him an a keychain.
Also: “Glorious Boxer Shorts of Dolphins”. Best magical item ever.
Wish I could vote. No Facebook, and I;m not getting one. No Twitter. Sorry.
Same. It’s a shame that any contest requires the use of social networking site in order to vote.
Amen.
Ribboned Arrow of Shirking. A ribbon-bedecked arrow gives the user the appearance of being deathly ill,complete with cold sweats and pale skin while hitting your target. Very festive! Every time this item is used, there is a 5% chance that the disease will be real, and remain after the item is used.
Got my vote,one of the only comics that make me laugh out loud,and I love Anti-M 🙂
Most of the item generator items are surely designed to be strange or useless, but “Nocturnal Shield of Shadows” is a shield that lets you become invisible in any shadow, but only at night.
I’ll take 50, thanks.
Even that is highly situation-specific. “In shadow at night” is pretty much invisible already. I can see it being useful against folks with darkvision, but that’s about it.
ALL THE WAY UP TO 11!
And you have my vote.
Looks like Mimic has his adhesive going after all.
I got the iron arrow of security, can be used five times and causes all locks to snap closed within fifty feet when I hit my target….. well I’m screwed, my character is a THEIF!!!
Then close the door & shoot the arrow at it. Works every time 😉 .
Works five times, anyway.
Awesome Duct tape of Icicles
A kickass, spike-studded extra-strength tape flings icicles at your enemies when applied to an object or creature and makes you the envy of all other adventurers.
Sounds like a good item for evading pursuers.
Orcbane Pillow of Icicles:
“This rusted, barbed pillow…”
Umm… WTF!?
Hey, I got a rusted, barbed leather bag. Orcbane something, I think. I forget.
Must be of Dwarven manufacture.
Orcbane Rope of Shadows; I can be invisible in any shadow, as long as I climb this ‘rusted, barbed coil of rope.’
Ouch…
Chocolate-coated Miniskirt of the Clam
A chocolate-coated, trendy skirt allows the user to breathe underwater for as long as they don’t move. while worn, and every day it regrows a tasty shell of milk chocolate!
So, it turns you into bait? Staying still in the water, covered in chocolate, until some big sea creature wants a snack…
That’s actually hella useful; hold your breath while moving, and stop to breath a couple of times a minute or so.
My favorite item so far, even though it is very similar to above.
Spider-Hating Socks of the Clam
A purple pair of socks allows the user to breathe underwater for as long as they don’t move. while worn. It’s more effective against spiders.
Against them?
This one has so many contradictions it made me laugh:
Somber Cupcake of Haystacks
This unpolished wooden treat creates a 10 foot haystack whenever the command word is spoken when eaten, but it makes the user talk in monotone.
Ooo. Want. I lose my marlbes daily.
Awesome Marbles of Electricity
A kickass, spike-studded bag containing 15 marbles gives a nasty shock to anyone who touches the user when the marbles are spilled and makes you the envy of all other adventurers
“Miniature Arrow of Talons
This half-sized arrow allows the user to grow fierce claws from their hands and feet, good for attacking or climbing when hitting your target, but not for anyone over 5 feet tall.”
Can I use it if I crouch or kneel?
All I want to know is… Where is Rusty?
I love how the items range from utterly impossible to seriously usefull. My favorite is:
Buzzing Lingerie of Social Media
This black-and-yellow, lacy lingerie updates your Facebook and Twitter every time it is used when worn. There is a 10% chance that instead of functioning properly, it emits a swarm of angry hornets. Yes, it updates Facebook and Twitter even if you don’t want it to.
It is the ideal gift for your most hated foes…
Wow, this one really boggles the mind…
Bubbly Torch of Shadows
This pearlescent torch allows the user to hide in any shadow when lit, and it emits a colorful spray of bubbles while working.
Golden Banana of Fire
This solid-gold banana is wreathed in harmful, magical fire after being eaten, and every time you use it, 5 gold pieces pop out!
…I think I’m really glad Dinkum didn’t tell me where they pop out from.
Your tearducts.
Solar-Powered Vaccuum cleaner of Karaoke:
“Topped with a dark pane of glass, this vaccuum cleaner amplies the speaker’s voice while adding a musical harmonizing track for as long as it’s turned on. It needs to sit in sunlight for an hour to recharge this power. The user doesn’t get to choose the song.”
… great for a bard…. maybe?
Helium Marker of the Roadrunner
This silver permanent marker allows the user to move 50% faster than they normally do when used to draw on a wall or floor. While using it, the user can jump twice as high. While using the item, the user may only communicate in beeps.
So… I can basically wall-run like in Prince of Persia by scribing a silvery line on the wall behind me as I go?
Spider-Hating Buckler of Inquisitiveness
A purple buckler that gives the user an improved ability to notice hidden clues or secret doors whenever an attack is blocked. It doesn’t work if there are spiders within 50 feet. It doesn’t necessarily communicate the importance of the clues or the method of opening the doors.
Oh, hey, we’re posting what we get from the generator?
Golden Powder of Acid
This solid-gold bottle of powder sprays a 10 foot cone of acid whereever it’s sprinkled, and every time you use it, 5 gold pieces pop out! . It takes an hour to recharge.
Aloe Can of Soda of Beatboxing
This lightly-scented soda provides backing vocals to anything the user says or sings when drank, and it soothes as it works. The user can turn the beatboxing on and off at will
Hades’s Pillow of Illusion
This ebon pillow grants the user the ability to summon an illusion while the pillow is slept on. Additionally, the user can speak with the dead, once a day. The illusion can include sound and scent, but it cannot go further than 50 feet from the user. If the user’s concentration is broken, the illusion may be lost. The item can create one illusion per day.
This actually makes sense to me, maybe I’m up too late…
Assassin’s Sunglasses of the Rhinocerous
This simple, black pair of tinted glasses magically causes a giant, dangerous horn to sprout from the user’s face whenever the glasses are dramatically removed, and emits no sound when used.