Critical Missives #55
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Makes sense. Stabs is merely a very dangerous rogue… but Princess is the DM’s girlfriend.
Is there any class that could beat a “DM’s Girlfriend”?
D&D isn’t really a Rock Paper Scissors, but some classes have abilities that are better at taking out others. For instance, a Rogue is just a glorified pickpocket against a fighter, but a Fighter’s will save is often so terrible that against nearly any Cleric or Wizard the best thing a fighter could do is stay out of the fight entirely. Meanwhile, Paladins get much better will saves so they would hold their own against Clerics and Wizards for a bit longer, even if they would lose to a Fighter in a straight up brawl. Rogues and Bards really shouldn’t be in a fight in the first place, that’s not their play-style, but they would probably do better against a Wizard than any Fighter would. Wizards are living gods at even mid levels, which is why Presti had to be around 5-6 and make clever use of low level spells to actually be an interesting fight.
Really, Fighters could use some sort of oomph to make them worthwhile as a pure Fighter at high levels. Currently, Fighters go from “bash with sword” to “bash really really hard with sword”, whereas Wizards go from “mildy annoy your enemy” to “alter the entire fabric of reality” quite quickly. It doesn’t matter what spell it is, so long as your opponent needs to spend more time dealing with it than for you to cast it, you’ve won.
Especially if you have a really really hard sword basher in your team
“It doesn’t matter what spell it is, so long as your opponent needs to spend more time dealing with it than for you to cast it, you’ve won.”
Not necessarily. You have limited spell slots, so protracted battles are not in a spellcaster’s interest.
If you cast a spell that merely annoys the enemy fighter for a few rounds, he’ll just go “okay, I’ll just wait a few rounds, and then I’ll still be here at full strength while you’re down a spell”. Distracting your enemies can be useful, but only if you can actually hurt them while they’re distracted (and even then, fighters have more hit points than mages have high-level spell slots).
Depending on the DM’s age, I could think of two: “DM’s mom/dad” and “DM’s kid”. Both tend to have cataclysmic powers capable of disrupting the entire time/space continuum. Their respective battlecries (“You still have homework!” and “You promised to come play!”) are powerful enough to shake the very foundations of the universe.
Well, Though it’s not Perfect, there IS a Rock-Paper-Scisors things going on In Classes in general.
Martial > Rogue
Since Armor Protects from Sneak attacks, and Martial types tend to have Higher Maneuver stats. And Monks are Kinda Just Naked less accurate Two-Weapon Fighters if they’re not fighting a Mage, Also, stunning fist never works on Marital types…
Rogue > Mage
Because Mages have Basically no defenses against Sneak Attacks, and don’t have the Hp to Survive one, Nor do they Typically have the Perception Score to ever SEE the Rogue Coming, and a Smart Rogue Will Just Go back into hiding after their First attack and wait for an Opportunity to do it again, and since Mages can’t Typically Heal themselves, they usually end up waiting to die… Monks Also Qualify as “Rogues” for this Matchup, since they Typically have a Metric ton of things to resist Magic and can Stunlock a Mage into becoming Obsolete Pretty Quick with the Mage’s Low Saves against Stuns
Mage > Martial
Not only do Martial Classes tend to have Lower Will and Reflex Saves, Making them Vulnerable to Mental and AoE Damage Spells, They also typically Rely on heavy Armor and Shields for Defense, which in Older Editions (3, 3.5, Pathfinder) Did nothing to Help you against Ray Spells, which was 100% of the Single Target Damage Spells… Also Mages can Fly to stay out of range of Melees and there’s So Many spells to just Ignore Ranged attacks, like Wall of Wind that even if they do have a Bow, it’s not gonna help.
Then there’s Clerics and Bards that Look at that RPS Diagram and Laugh their asses off because they’re Square in the Middle, With no Favorable or Disfavorable Matchups as they have Countermeasures to each thing, but they’re never as Effective as the specialists.
Oh and Pathfinder Archetypes can Completely Screw with this Diagram if you know what you’re doing, so don’t take this as Holy Gospel!
Looks like the princess would have to work for that win though.
And once again Derek is cool.
What prophesy is Mimic referring to here? I feel like I’m missing a panel. Or a whole strip.
The middle panel isn’t something that really happened, but has been illustrated by Derek from one of his prophecies.
Thanks. I didn’t get that the parchment Derek was holding in the last panel supplied the middle panel.
I mean, the princess’ obscure prestige class notwithstanding, this is very accurate. Monks are the kings of PvP; unless specifically equipped to combat them, everyone else is just gonna get stunlocked.
And, dear questioner, you should know: a combatant who falls at the stun will typically also fail the entire bout.